this is not my age.maybe not now.

i keep running.but i'm still here.

i've been told that several times that i lived a life in fear, pessimism. afraid to digress from the rules enforced, even though there are ways to go around them, undetected. i can't rid of this trait. i admit. it borders cowardice. i need to escape.i need to run. to anywhere but here.

at times it peak of being obsessive. those times i can't tell. i don't realise. it treads the bounds of illogical thinking. it irritates others. i can't hide it.

being afraid to tread outside of law, being obsessively worried of the consequences. it kills my mind. it impairs my five senses. it messes with my mind, my train of thought. thoughts scattered and not differentiated. i need to lessen my imagination. it screws my thinking.

it demotivates. it degrades my self esteem. for all i thought i was worth for, it just drops beyond what i can ever imagined.the imagination pains me.,but that's my only exit. sometimes i thought that it will be nice it my mind could be rebooted, refreshed, start anew. forget my flaws recreate a new self. but i have to face reality. i am only me. my personality is me.i can't changed it. i don't know if there's a way to...

Black Ant Mascot Costume

Wished i had one.

been quite a while since the last entry.but heck, let's make it short. the past week sure have been one joyous ride. Looking back, the past six months in Sispec Charlie was enjoyable. Got to work and meet various people. Learn to live with the antics of various people. a truly memorable experience that i'll never forget. To go through this the "road less taken" by anyone else is a wondrful experience. when i thought life in the army was bleak, being able to work behind the scenes with superiors recognising your capabilities and acknowledging it just feels great. skills learn surely go beyond. not chiong sua, but peoples skills,yes, people skills that helped build me. i am grateful for it.

posting order than arrived a few months back was cancelled. had several other postings given, and it was cancelled as well.until the second last day, the final and most "lucky" posting ever came. though i had to leave earlier than expected, it is still something i am looking forward to.

nonetheless, the experience and memories i had in charlie will be fondly remembered and the life there is prolly something i am proud of to share with others. sometimes to fall is just something the the greater power has given you' a chance to reform so that you may better appreciate things that is to come...

to charlie company, i thank you for taking care of me for the past six months

talented beauty

COMBAT MEDIC!!!!!

Finally can go online,in camp!