for what it is

was awaken from my slumber to sleepy morning. it was six past midnight. i had to get up for my appoinment. prepared myself, showered, shaved my face and so on. did not have breakfast as i was instructed not to by the nurse 2 days back. no matter. used to skipping breakfast anyway.

flagged a cab and took it all the wasy to sgh. a cloudy day, with all the sloppiness lingering on me, i dragged myself out and entered the hospital.it was only seven thirty. too early, told my parents to head to the cafeteria; just to let them have some breakfast.

proceeded to the endoscopy centre.registered and once the administration part was over, i was led to the waiting point. not a long wait before my name was called. entered a typical operating like theatre. was made to lie down and the nurse administered some local anethesia into the throat and some sedative agent through my veins. before i knew it, i was gone...

next thing i know, i was in the recovery room. everything that was strapped on my was removed and i made my way down the bed. not easy. it felt like my soul was just returned to the body without much tuning; loss all sense of balance.hardly enough, i walked to the waiting room and was given a drink and a light snack. milo tasted like water and there was no effort needed to swallow it, everything just went down like i'm missing a throat.

saw other patients in similar state. the lost faces, dead-eyes and mild swinging, even while sitting on chairs. i knew how it felt. i was only trying my own to hold my balance.

what felt like a ten minute nap was actually an hour or so. lost all the mind power to even wondered why it was so.after some time for recovery, i was called upon to view some pictures of what they saw and snapped a picture or two,no, make it four,wait, i can't even remember...

no surprise, some of it look like ulcers;instead,i was told it was bacterial infection. really?how come i'm giving more acid controlling drugs then?no antibiotics?don't bother.i guess i already knew. so right, it has come to that point. a stronger drug's being given. fortunately, it's only one type and smaller in size, but bigger the price.

so that was it.i saw what i need to see. how far has it gone and what i can expect next.no matter really. i don't mave much of my mind with me now. thanks to the sedation, i feel like half of my soul hasn't return yet...